Inspirational stories: Vilma de Vellis

Interview with Vilma De Vellis, Image and Style consultant and patient at Elaine Esthetics clinic for 4 years. She believes that the only thing “You have to” is to take care of yourself.

This woman has an admirable story of overcoming. She had to face her greatest fears and traumas to become the amazing woman she has become today.

What is the motivational story of your life?

The story or stories are very long, but briefly speaking, I have been through several life experiences, but the biggest and most remarkable challenge happened at the age of 18 when I was returning from a prayer. I was in a car accident where I lost my older sister (one of the people I loved most in life), my dear brother-in-law and a dear friend.

I was very physically hurt, especially my face, in which I underwent several surgeries, and my stomach. I already had low self-esteem, and all this made it worse.

As I witnessed everything because I was conscious all the time, I ended up developing some psychological disorders such as post-traumatic stress, guilt, intrusive thoughts, daily nightmares, OCD, and a lot of fear of loss.

I lived with a constant guilt, anger, revolt, I thought that I no longer had the right to be happy, that I did not deserve it, since others did not have the second chance that I had.

I constantly sabotaged myself and did not allow myself to smile at life again.

Due to lack of knowledge and fear of judgments, it took me years to seek psychological help because I saw that it would be difficult to get out of where I was on my own.

Seeking professional help was the greatest demonstration of love for myself.

It was years of therapy and some things I may carry with me for the rest of my life, but with the knowledge I have today, the studies, all the therapy, and God helped me to become the woman I am today.

I am a woman who is not afraid to expose my ideas, I try to live a lighter life and forgive myself whenever necessary. I accept myself within my imperfection and I no longer hide my scars. I don’t stay only in the dream, but I create courage and run after my objectives.

There were many, many learnings, many studies, courage, but one that I like to point out is, that apart from death, for almost everything that happens in our lives there are always choices.

– Either you choose to live frustrated, running away from the problem, blaming yourself or others for what happens in your life, complaining about how unfair life was/is to you, thinking that there is no solution anymore, or

– Reborn from the ashes, seek a new opportunity, try to get the best out of even the worst situation, learn something different, and why not, START AGAIN.

If in my adolescence phase I suffered an accident, witnessed loved ones die, went through several surgeries and was left with several scars, many emotional traumas, unemployed, I could turn around, start from scratch and win, you can too. Reinvent yourself!

“It’s not about what life has done to us, it’s about what we choose to do with what life has done to us.”

Life is a gift. Live today. 🙂

What do you like most about America?

Diversity. I speak according to my circle of friends and acquaintances. I have people in my daily life from different religions, cultures, languages, countries, and this fascinates me. I learn different things all the time, and it helps me evolve as a person and as a human being.

Convenience: I like the fact that if I’m leaving at 2 in the morning I can go to the market and buy milk for example – lolrs

Why did you choose the United States to live?

Actually I didn’t choose it, I fell here by chance. I went to live in Italy because I am an Italian citizen through my mother’s family, and there I met my husband who is American, and who also lived there for some years and decided to come back to America and invited me to come along :-). Things of life!

If you could give one tip to someone who is coming to the United States to live, what would it be?

Open your mind and don’t limit yourself, expand your horizons. If you can come legally, that would be ideal, because I think this is one of the reasons that limit some people, but everyone knows who they are.

Take a basic English course if you don’t know anything, so you can get by without being too dependent on someone, and don’t be ashamed to speak wrong. Dare 🙂

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What is your profession?

I usually say that I am a singer by passion and an Image and Style Consultant by profession and passion 🙂

Within the consultancy I also analyze body language, self-acceptance, self-image, and self-esteem… it’s not only external, but also the way the person sees him/herself.

WHAT IS IMAGE AND STYLE CONSULTING?

Did you know that 55% of the first impression we leave on people is based on our appearance, another 38% on the tone of our voice, and only 7% on our content?

There are studies that prove that it is during the first 10 seconds of contact that our personality comes to light, as well as our behavior, professionalism, and other information about us… Image and style consulting is a process that fascinates me a lot! I like to say that it is a deep dive in a sea of unknown waters…

It is to enter head-first into the intense universe of self-knowledge, to bring out the best in you! Believe me, no process of self-knowledge will happen overnight, it takes commitment, dedication… At the same time, I assure you that the process will fill you up from all sides, helping you to visualize everything that can be changed, everything that can but must remain, and everything that will serve to improve your essence…

Image and style consulting is NOT just about dressing you, but about pointing you in the direction of harmonizing your image and personality. The result of this process – from body type analysis to coloring and personal style, is an “allied” closet, with handpicked items, and accurate purchases.

A smart closet, which makes your life more practical, which values your body type, and with pieces that talk to each other. All this in a body that is finally known and explored, full of self-esteem. Because it is not about changing who you are, but about bringing out everything that you already are, but for some reason don’t know how to do it yet!

Beautiful, isn’t it?

Have you had any procedures done at Elaine Esthetics? If yes, how were the results?

I’ve done many. The results were very visible and satisfactory. I like to take care of myself, and Elaine has a personalized service and makes us feel very well. Starting with the environment, service, cleaning, everything is always very well thought out, providing a lot of tranquility and relaxation for sure.

What would you say to people who are not happy with who they are?

Actually “Being or Being Happy” is very relative, first because nobody is happy all the time.

I also don’t believe in ready-made formulas for being happy, because we are unique and as unique beings you can’t build a universal formula and say that everyone will be happy following this formula.

But the first thing I would say to these people would be: Get to know yourself!

The more I know myself, know my limits, fears, anxieties, frustrations, my internal enemies, and so on, the more mastery I will have over them. I won’t be so surprised when they show up.

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When I know myself, I take the steering wheel out of someone else’s hands and start driving my own car.

The problem with many people is that they put their happiness in someone else’s hands, they blame the other person when they feel unhappy.

They often sabotage themselves in order to stay unhappy, comparing themselves all the time, seeking approval as if it were a gauge of happiness. Being happy doesn’t depend on the other. That’s why I keep with me something I learned with my accident and that years later I heard professor Clóvis de Barros mention, where he says that philosophy describes it as the transcendence of the ego, which means you are two. You and your consciousness.

You can’t get away from yourself, you are the only person who will be with you until the last breath of your life, so instead of criticizing yourself, hating yourself, projecting yourself, blaming yourself for past mistakes, start praising yourself, admiring yourself, loving yourself and loving what you do, being delighted with yourself, and becoming your most faithful friend?!

Laugh at yourself, learn from your mistakes, assume your responsibilities, and stop looking for happiness in others, because if you are not happy with yourself, no one will be able to make you happy.

And finally, don’t spend your whole life running after a happiness that you can create yourself. Smile TODAY, start loving yourself TODAY, be grateful TODAY, and be happy TODAY!

What are your beauty secrets?

In particular I don’t have any beauty secrets. I like to use my creams, take time for myself when possible, have my treatments done at Elaine’s – hehe.

But outer beauty is a reflection of what we are and feel inside, so I try to pray, meditate and disconnect from everything when I feel some level of stress too high, I sing when I am sad, because I am also a singer, and reading relaxes me a lot too.

The secret in the end is to feel good about yourself and try to find a balance and do things that make you happy, and smile a lot. Smiling is the biggest secret of beauty, and I love to smile! 🙂